"We don't see that behavior at home..."

Please! The parent who utters those words in the midst of a parent/teacher conference instantly loses all credibility with their child's teachers. Of course you see that behavior at home. The difference is: while that behavior may be acceptable at home, it's not acceptable at school.

The goal of a parent/teacher conference is for all of the adults present to agree on what is in the best interests of the child and to create a corresponding plan of action. When dealing with a child who is experiencing behavioral difficulties, it is imperative that adults present a united front. Failure to do so allows a child to play one adult against another. The parents and teachers, functioning as a team, will be successful.

School/home communication is essential and is much more likely to occur if teachers and parents are on the same page. Children want to do well in school and appreciate structure and consistency. I ask kids, "Are you stressed out? Do you wish that all the adults at home and at school would get off your back? Then all you need to do is try hard in school. As long as your giving your best effort, you can't fail and everyone will be happy."

I've seen and been a part of many success stories using this approach. Being a parent is not easy. Let your child's teachers help you. If you choose not to, you'll find the same pattern repeating itself year after year. This year's teachers will be telling you the same thing as last year's teachers...and you'll be telling them that you don't see that behavior at home...